Oct EVOX Blog Sawyer and Nona 8_18_13

“The more we care for the happiness of others,
the greater our own sense of well-being becomes.”
~ His Holiness the Dalai Lama

It was a winter night in late 1970, 3am. I was awakened by a pounding on my freshman college dorm door. My friend Stewart was standing there, a look of terror in his eyes, blurting out to me, “Laura, I am afraid – I am going to kill myself!” He was earnest.

What did I know?! 18 years old and inexperienced certainly in such matters of life and death. What transpired was unpremeditated and certainly from no prior training. Intuitively, I became instantly present with him. I put on my winter coat (this was a Wisconsin dead of winter cold night!), and took Stewart’s hand and led him outside to the snow on the grounds between the dorms. With our hands clasped, I started twirling with him in a circle, the centrifugal force whirling us around, until he finally burst out laughing and we fell to the frozen snow covered ground. He began to weep in the midst of laughter and thanked me over and over. Four years later Stewart received his diploma along with the rest of us, as we all began our next phase of life experience …

It is said that the greatest gift we can give another is our own happiness. An interesting concept, yes? It leads me to think about – well, how do I generate my own happiness? I mean, when we’re happy, it’s inevitable that we share the resonance of lightheartedness with another as it effortlessly emerges, generally catalyzing a similar lightheartedness in another. Lightheartedness allows for seeing the world in a better perspective, through lenses that allow for greater possibilities.

What is particularly interesting in the Dalai Lama’s quote, is that paying attention to another’s well-being, being interested that another feels uplifted, actually increases our own well–being.

How does this make sense?

If I am paying attention to what you need, my attention on my own issues is suspended for the moment.

I become present, listening to what is important to you. When I become present, a whole world of ease and wisdom becomes available to me, for as I stop paying attention to my own thoughts of concern, those thoughts lose the substance gained from my attention to them, and fade into the background, as if I turned down the sound of one radio station while I listened to another radio frequency.

What exists in the Present, in the moment of attending to what is happening in the Now with nothing else on our mind, allows for all of the attributes of well-being that exist in the present moment to be available to us.

My own happiness and well being increases as I pay attention to increasing another’s well being because the resonance of the Present has to come through me first before I can give it away to another.
“To give is to receive.”
Get it?


To find out more about Dr. Laura Basha and some of her planned future contributions to evōx click here.

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About The Author

Laura Basha's picture

Dr. Laura Basha is an organizational psychologist, writer, and artist. 

She is the Founder and Creator of WhiteBird Rising, a resource and guide for the transformational lifestyle. For over 35 years she worked with thousands of international clientele, using a principle-based paradigm of well-being, catalyzing an awakening in people to their authentic self-expression, creativity, and power. Her latest book, All Is Chosen, a beautiful handmade art piece, is a compilation of her life’s work, and can be viewed along with her other writings, videos, and artwork, at www.whitebirdrising.com

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