When I'm entering a room, what I'm hoping for is to impart joy
You know that comparison thing that happens when you're in a room full of people? Or on a train or a bus or waiting in line? A new woman comes in to the mix and evaluates every other woman she sees, and the other women do the same — not as a group, but as individuals evaluating independently. The eyes scan everything about her: hair, makeup or lack thereof, outfit, shoes, bag. A complete evaluation of how she measures up — and how we measure up in comparison to her. It happens instantaneously, consistently, and subconsciously.
How does this serve us? Well, we don't really know, because we're not usually aware that we're doing it. But wow, so many times it just feels uncomfortable. As I stare across the room at my new yellow tote bag with red roses on it (I absolutely LOVE this thing) I remember why I bought it. I bought it to reflect my personality. I bought it to stand out, rather than to blend in. Some of us like standing out. Others would prefer to blend in. Some people would prefer to go about their day, relatively unnoticed, under the radar. I have those moments sometimes — I happen to be an undercover introvert. In general, though, I love bright color, bold prints, and lots of makeup.
When I'm entering a room, what I'm hoping for is to impart joy onto the people in the room. Brightness. Vivacity. Beauty. I want the sweet tartness of my orange lips to inspire the woman standing across from me, who is caught in her mental chatter about how she's going to lose 15 pounds, to live in the here and now, and not in the future yet to come. I want the rapturous curliness of my hair to cause another curly girl to take pride in her own glorious locks. I want my 2-foot-large, red, heart-shaped Kate Spade bag to make the woman sitting next to me on the train remember that every day is a day worthy of showing herself love.
The question I am left asking is, can comparison be a good thing? Can the woman who enters the room, radiating like sunshine, influence the women who evaluate her to feel more joy?