When we’re unconscious or not as aware as we can be, our ego will typically try to grab control of any process we’re working on. Sometimes that serves us, but most times it doesn’t—because the ego is pretty defensive and aggressive.
Here’s a quick grid that illustrates the contrast in the ways we talk to ourselves when our ego is driving vs. when our deeper, more authentic self is driving:
EGO AUTHENTIC SELF
Why bother? What do I have to lose?
You can’t do this You can totally do this
You suck at everything you try I’m really good at some things
This isn’t going to be any different The past does not need to predict the future
You’re damaged goods You’re getting stronger and better every day
You don’t have what it takes to succeed This may be difficult but it isn’t impossible
This is stupid This seems really foreign—let me be patient
This is for dummies I thought this would have been harder
This is for babies I wish I had learned this stuff sooner—better late than never
They’re stupid They don’t think like me and that makes me uncomfortable
They’re against you Sometimes I can feel alone—remember that people care about me
No one is on your side I can talk myself into crazy places—good thing feelings aren’t facts
There’s not enough time I’m committed to doing what it takes to get this finished
You’re doing it all wrong This is harder than I thought—I need to be patient with myself
What will they think of you? I wonder if I could be a source of inspiration for other people?
Wherever you are in your process of getting and staying organized, pay attention to how you’re talking to yourself. If you find yourself beating up on yourself, don’t beat up on yourself for that, laugh instead at your humanity and recognize that negative self-talk is nothing new, it’s not unique to you, and you can shift how you speak to yourself at any time.